Monday, December 05, 2005

Romance Novels I'd Like To Read

My love-hate relationship with Romance novels continues to amuse me as one Mr.Longmire catches on to the wierdness of the cover art and decides to dedicate a whole webpage to these things. I believe he feels these new titles are more appropriate to the displayed cover art. Here are a few of my favourites:

You can find more of Mr.Longmire's funny Romance novel titles here, and reader submissions to his project (which are as funny, if not funnier) here.


Blogger Tata Botata said...

Hahahahaha AMAZING


You know what else is awesome? to be the first to comment on your fresh post, not everybody can do that.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Tata Botata said...

I was actually writing that comment really fast in fear of someone else commenting before me.


9:38 AM  
Blogger Tata Botata said...

My fav is "I'm about to let one".

9:41 AM  
Blogger Spontaneousnessity said...

hehe funny =}

10:10 AM  
Blogger Ms.Baker said...


Lord almighty, I cannot tolerate romance novels. Danielle Steel makes me ill. I think the last one I read was when I was 12, and even then I thought it was embarrasingly insane.

That site is too funny!! Thanks for making me laugh at work, so that everyone looked up and saw the scandalous book covers I was perusing online...( what they think I am doing, I am too scared to imagine) ;)

MsB, who is thinking about submitting a few titles of her own..

10:54 AM  
Blogger Sever said...

Funny :) A lot of women like these novels... but now detective stories are in the lead. May be if publishers change titles of love novels to these ones, it will help & they will take 1st place again :)

1:12 PM  
Blogger funny said...

lol are those romance novels close to reality ?

next time i get to be the first to post a comment, viva rss !

1:24 PM  
Blogger McArabian said...

tata Not only were you the first to comment, but you also wrote the first three comments in a row - a new record! :P
Yeah, that's a good one too ;)

sponty Glad you liked it :)


I used to be addicted to them. Danielle Steele was a bit too boring and high brow for me. I liked the really steamy-no-woman-in-her-right-mind-would-fall-for-that -crap ones that manage to slip through the Kuwaiti censors :) Now that I've been reprogrammed by my feminism prof. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to fully enjoy a trashy romance novel again :)

PS. A lot of the bookstores in the States actually sell book jackets that are specific for romance novel - I guess even they realize that some of the cover art can be too much!

northerncolour Detective and spy novels never appealed to me for some reason. I'll always be a die-hard cyberpunk fan :) but if I ever see a romance novel with a title like the ones displayed, I'm definitely getting it!

funny The cover art is absolutely real - some of the men who pose for the cover art are real as well (Fabio comes to mind here). Don't worry about being first or last, I am ALWAYS appreciative of comments :)

2:48 PM  
Blogger Evil Knievel said...

Very good laugh! Whole office is laughing thanks to you!
We will send some new suggestions and i'll keep you updated what we submit.

3:15 PM  
Blogger bitzer said...


"You're dead and that's HOT"


This has got to be the most fabulous thing I've seen in the 28 minutes since I got out of bed.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Ms.Baker said...


Ok, I had to comment again - this is slightly off topic, but your post and all those hilarious titles are making me remember the gamut of not-so-classy novels I sometimes read as a bored kid in Kuwait (stolen from my mom's cache, bought at the airport bookshop, or at Muthana complex)...

My mom had a stash of romantic novels (lots of Barbara Cartland, LOL) and, shall we say, some more "colorful" novels, like those written by the great king of the semi-trash novel, Harold Robbins.

Me and my sis once found a book pushed waaaaay to the back of the bookshelf called: "Coffee, Tea, or Me?" and being all of 10 and 9 years old, we thought it was a romantic story about a stewardess who finds true love and excitement on the job... Needless to say, my mom was very, very, very, upset when she discovered me reading it!
(It wasn't about true love, as you can guess...)

MsB, all nostalgic ;)

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehehehehe...that tickled my funnybone big time! Amazing lol..I once wanted to see what a romance novel looks like..I don't remember which I picked..but I definately remember that while I was 9 yrs old...I laid down the book and went to ask my dad about several positions mentioned in the book.
Never again.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous ibod said...

Khalas ya3ni?

1:18 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

evil Glad you and your officemates liked it :) I try to keep my posts mostly about Kuwait, but this was too funny to let go. And it sounds like you're working in a great office environment :)

bitzer LOL! -Good to know it made your day (or the first 28 minutes of it) ;)

Did you get into trouble for it? I remember my father once caught me reading one of his Sidney Sheldon books when I was a little older than 11 or 12. He tried to tell me to stop reading the book, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just said something along the lines of "you understand that this is an adult book, right?" and I said yes and that was it. I think he couldn't bring himself to be mad at me since he was the one who brought the book in the house in the first place. My father is a fair man, and sometimes being fair backfires ;)

MiniR LOL! What did your dad do? I hope you didn't get into trouble for it :P

ibod I'm sorry, I don't understand the question - khalas from the last post? Yeah, we're moving on to better and funnier posts.

9:11 AM  
Blogger kila ma6goog said...

very funny:)..khoosh ajsam mala3een!

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nah he just bounced me off to mom..then she bounced me back to him & so on...
but i got busted watching those late nite movies on cable tv when i shouldn't..& no need to mention that i was grounded for a very long while eh? ;p

2:52 PM  
Blogger MissCosmoKuwait said...

I LOVED IT!...Totally cracked me up...

4:16 PM  
Blogger McArabian said...

kila Who? The guys or the girls? ;)

MiniR Heh - great story :) And I just realized why your user pic looked so familiar. It's from the same artist who did the Dark Tower series :)

miscosmo Cool :)

ibod That was effing disgusting. I have no idea who you are or who you think I am, but I won't tolerate that crap on my space and I won't tolerate harassment on my space. Please move along.

9:48 PM  
Anonymous ibod said...


I meant you could write better stuff. I apologize if the quote insulted you however this is how I felt reading this post.

I still think this post is cheesy!
and kaifich!

9:58 PM  
Blogger McArabian said...

ibod Exactly. Kaify.
Sorry, but you are not my target audience. I advise you to move along onto things that would better interest you and never come back to this blog. Thank you and good night.

10:02 PM  
Blogger Amunki said...


Among my faves:

"OMG WTF, you're a Merman"

"Kangaroo Gangbang"

and of course the classic,
"He was so pretty, I felt like a lesbian".

Good work scout...

9:40 AM  
Blogger Amunki said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yep..dark tower of my favs :)

9:34 PM  
Blogger Qatar Cat said...

1. Beginners Guide to Snowballing.

2. Elizabeth Taylor's Wet Dreams: Unabridged.

3. This book costs less in Utah.


11:16 PM  
Blogger Sailor said...

sissy-boy is cool .. i`d like to read that one day . i cant read anything now , im stuck with my studies , like a big jail here

3:10 AM  
Blogger Jan6a said...

guilty as charged. i read trashy novels till the age of 15 ! I don't consider Sidney Sheldon's book as romance novels though hehe they were legit up till the age of 14? Ok fine maybe 16. I was so impressed with his skills when I first started reading his books, after the 7th or 8th it just got redundant.

5:24 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

amunki Heh - yeah, the lesbian one is one of my favourites too :)

MiniR So did you finish the series? I'm curious to know what you thought :)

QC LOL! Classic!

sailor These aren't real books, just made up titles to go with the pictures they have in real books ;) But if they were real, Sissy Boy would definitely be on my list as well!

jan6a Yeah, I felt the same way about him. I used to be a big fan when I was young, but his books never left an impression - I hardly remember them now.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Equalizer said...


5:05 PM  
Blogger TANTALIZE said...

I'm sure those type of novels would be a great hit with the many of the ditsy females we have in Kuwait, IF they can even get their lazy materialistic asses to open the books and turn the pages.


7:02 PM  
Blogger SheWolf said...

HAH MC i love it! I've always aimed many puns at romance did however scare me when i first looked at the post.. u seemed too realistic to fall for them.. *phew* you remain uncorrupted!
Bright side: at least they didn't use Fabio...

Tantalize: lil asaf the ditzy-ness and laziness is also a common phenomenon amongst the male kuwaiti population.. bess its all good cuz there's always a maid available to help out

7:43 PM  
Blogger Swair. said...

WWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA.... i love you and your insanely amazing posts LOL

i loved that website :p

8:41 PM  
Blogger The Krispy Dixie said...

hahahahahaha good stuff Mac!! I especially loved the last one!! :D definately gonna check out the link! :D

7:19 PM  
Blogger 7tenths said...

Looooool, very very funny! :)

9:45 PM  
Blogger McArabian said...

equalizer :)

tantalize To be fair, I had a trashy romance novel phase when I was younger - and I'm pretty sure I'm not ditzy :P You'd be surprised what kind of people read these novels :)

shewolf LOL! Glad I didn't disappoint you :P I used to love them back in my innocent days, not so much anymore. And weirdly enough, I love Fabio - and not because of his looks, but of how he likes to laugh of himself. He features in one of my favourite movies: Bubble Boy.

swair Awww, you're making me blush :P Glad you liked it!

krispy You should, I think most of the people liked the ones in the webpages better than the ones I'm displaying here. Take a look and tell me what you think :)

7tenths Anything that would make you less angry is good enough for me :P Next time your friends break a couch or table, just think of these books before yelling at them ;)

1:52 PM  
Blogger mishari26 said...

LoL very nice stuff, here's something along the same lines:,6109,1373416,00.html

2:01 PM  
Blogger Peach said...

LooooL Sissy boy!! lool I loved that one .. I used to read lots of romance novels too when I was younger .. if I'm terribly bored now I might pick one up .. but the thing is .. they lost thier charm on me .. it's all boolshit in other words .. and it's all the same .. and horay horaa .. they get married in the end & live happely ever after .. bla bla bla .. so what's new!!
o beno o benich! I'm starting to feel the same way about movies .. the good guys never die & they always win .. u know the end before u even watch the movie .. so again .. what's new!

7:24 PM  
Blogger The Krispy Dixie said...

hey sorry! I've been busy but I checked out the link!

HilArious!! I was laughing so hard I nearly got kicked out of the office! :P

My faves:

Pull My Finger!! (The pic is perfect for it!! )

Dude, where's my sword? (Perfect pic again!)

It only burns when I pee!! (Too funny! ) :P

And The Mac strikes again!

9:45 PM  
Blogger Shawn T Lippert said...

Thank you for the informative blog
Here Is some additional Romance Book resources for
Romance Books if you or your readers are interested

11:17 AM  
Blogger Shawn T Lippert said...

Thank you for the informative blog
Here Is some additional Romance Book resources for
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