Monday, October 10, 2005

The Most Dangerous Food Is A Wedding Cake

Before I came to the States my mother give me an ultimatum: stay in Kuwait and be married within the year, or go to America to get a PhD and become a spinster. Being the selfish feminazi that I am, I chose option two. It's good to know, however, that I can always rely on sites such as The Muslim Matrimonial Service.com to give me hope (while saving my soul at the same time). Here's the obligatory quote:

A free muslim matrimonials service designed to help Muslim Singles to find their Muslim life partner and
complete our Islamic obligation. We do not support Muslim dating, penpal services, friendship between opposite gender - as it is opposed in Islam. InshaAllah, we hope we can able to make better Muslim Matches and earn everyone's Dua.

I'm not sure how being penpals with the opposite sex is unIslamic. It's also not clear how the couple would get know one another before marriage if they can't do any of the things listed above. I suppose saying a Dua has something to do with it; sure seems to be their preferred currency.

I'm definitely going to hell for this one.

26 Comments:

Blogger confused said...

very interesting blog. Its funny to know that basically u can do nothing to get a match thru that society thing.

I wont be surprised when other ppl have a negative view about islam, i mean; why dont they look into improving other issues and making non muslims like the religion?

12:36 AM  
Blogger Delicately Realistic said...

You reminded me of that reality show where they had arab women in one house and bought the last 2 finalists husbands. The couple that won got married, i wonder what happened to them.
I think it was called Alhawa or something like that.

1:07 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

confused I don't think they care what non-Muslims think about Islam, since non-Muslims are Kafirs and they're going to hell anyway. :P

Delicate There was a reality show?! Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.

2:18 AM  
Blogger Erzulie said...

I'm relatively young but I've come to the conclusion that I will be a bachelorette for life because all the sane ones are taken. Ah well, at least I will enjoy other peoples' wedding cakes. Speaking of that, it's the best part in weddings. I stuff myself with wedding food, yum :)

4:03 AM  
Blogger Edjamacated Guy said...

Don't think about that kind of stuff so early.. I don't like it. What's gonna happen by the time I wanna get married? Are all the people my age going to be taken and then have to settle for someone much younger?

4:55 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

I solved that problem by getting a larg male tuxedo cat: he sleeps all day, doesn't listen when I talk to him, doesn't pay attention to me unless I'm doig something important, and expects me to feed and clean up after him.

Sounds like a husband, doesn't it?

4:55 AM  
Blogger D-sin said...

lol I like this site do they really think there helping out? The weird thing is that divorce rates are increasing constantly, ( Ab'7iv' Al-halal enda Allah howa al-9alaq ) I'm not really good with all the Arabic+English thingy so bare with me.

7:36 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

d-sin I'm as clueless as you are as to what they think they're doing. I'm curious to know if any of the marriages made by this site are successful.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Mushmushi said...

All the comments made by the folks above assume that the key to a successful marriage is mental compatibility. This may the case for our kind, but not for others. In Islam, all you need to be a good husband is to financially take care of your wife, children and home, cater to your wife's sexual needs, and not hit her. That's it, nothing else is required from the Man. Many women, unfortunately, settle for that in a marriage.

Y'all, I have this one cousin, (one ugly motherf#$%&^!), Islamist beardo, obese, didn't finish high school, no personal charm, no excessive financial benefits, nothing... zilch... nada. Married an 18yr old munaqaba (completely veiled woman), who was in her first year of college. She eventually finished college and now works as a teacher. They are happily married and have 3 kids. In fact, they just moved into a new home.

Kuwait ain't no place for us feminazis, McArabian... it is a place where nothing is what it seems.

9:48 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

Mushmushi I understand that they have different priorities concerning marriage, but to say that marrying a stranger is an Islamic obligation (which is pretty much what's implied on their website) is absolute drivel.

As for your cousin's wife, I won't make any presumptions about her happiness, it's not my place. I will say one thing though: "marry a young girl and you can raise her into the woman you want." I've actually heard a wahaby say that. Personally, I believe women should wait until they're at least 21 (and graduated from college) before thinking about marriage. But I have yet to meet a Kuwaiti who agrees with me. Oh well, takes all kinds to make a world. Doesn't stop me from laughing at the morons :)

10:13 AM  
Blogger Amunki said...

I believe:

1) Marriage is over-rated...
(It is just a contract).

2) Hell does not exist...
(It is merely a state of mind).

My advice: Stick to the cat...

10:21 AM  
Blogger Spontaneousnessity said...

walla good for you! supporting you all the way! WOHOO!

11:09 AM  
Blogger William said...

I still think it's weird a Kuwaiti guy can marry an American non-Muslim over here, but it seems like hell would have to freeze over before it would be allowable for a Kuwaiti woman to marry an American non-Muslim. Just used Americans since most are not Muslim, but you can probably use polish, french, african, etc.

12:12 PM  
Blogger McArabian said...

amunki noted, though I disagree with you on the other two. I don't think people take marriage seriously enough in Kuwait, and I hope there's a hell. There needs to be a place where I can see a lot of fuckers burn, even if it means I'll burn along with them.

sponty Thanks!

william Yeah, I like to call it "The Cardinal Rule of Double Standards". It goes back to the whole thing about kid's religion stemming from the father, rather than the mother (as opposed to the Jewish faith, where the stem from the mother, I think). As much as I complain about these rules, and think them unfair, I will stick to this one as long as my parents are alive (unless the guy is really worth it, and so far, I have yet to meet a fella really worth it who wasn't already taken!). I respect and love my parents too much to force them to accept my views on how I feel things should be. Besides, I haven't given up on Kuwaiti men, yet!

7:27 PM  
Blogger shady q80 said...

oh oh ohhh...I got an idea, speed marriage!

Fuck the speed dating shit and let's just get to the good stuff. You get one month, basically the honeymoon, and you move on to the next mate!

In the end, just remarry your favorite honeymooner (along with the first, second, and third runners up if you're male).

2:44 AM  
Blogger McArabian said...

shady Now I see why you call yourself shady ;)

3:01 AM  
Blogger Nadim said...

Thanks for letting us post
comments - very cool of you. I work online with my own
muslim matrimonial
website. Check it out if you get the chance. Thanks again!

8:29 AM  
Blogger Nadim said...

Thanks for letting us post comments - very cool of you. I work online
with my own used college books
website. Check it out if you get the chance. Thanks again!

8:30 AM  
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